


The Avengers Get High

by saffronsykes



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Multi, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 18:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saffronsykes/pseuds/saffronsykes





	The Avengers Get High

The silent blue alarm light flickered throughout the Stark Tower living quarters. It was an alarm. An alarm that meant someone was trying to break in and/or rob Tony Stark’s penthouse. The alarm and system was foolproof, the apartments would lock themselves down, no one in or out . Jarvis was the only one who could release the shut down after the entire building would be searched by police, Stark security and then finally the computer system. 

Of course it would have been more ideal any other time, each Avenger had plans of somekind for that Friday evening. Tony had already warmed up for his night out with Pepper to a fancy jazz club… He did not even like jazz. Pulling loose his tie and grabbing a new bottle of whiskey he instructed JARVIS to send Pepper the message he would not be able to make it then to promptly stop the silent alarm after the police had been notified, which he was sure they already had been. 

Light footsteps came down the hall and Natasha and Clint appeared curious and alert. “What is happening?” Said the redhead visibly calming after seeing Tony standing at the bar with a fresh drink. 

“Just someone trying to rob me.” He smiled. “We’re on lock down.” 

“Lock down?” Clint questioned.

“You heard me bird brain.” Tony sipped the glass and searched behind the bar for something. 

As Clint was about to say something about his and Natasha’s date with SHEILD, Steve stumbled into the room with a bathrobe and sopping wet hair. 

“Cool down, Steve. Just a lockdown.” Natasha stated glaring at Tony as he could possibly get them out, but her mouth stayed shut, she did not really want to go to the agent meeting.   
Tony had been rolling a blunt while the events transpired smiling inwardly at the sight of a half clothed and very wet Steve. He put it to his lips when all of their eyes rested on him. “What?” He asked lighting up. 

“Care to share some with us?” Clint blurted out sarcastically a little ticked about being disturbed from his nap early. At the comment Tony offered it in their direction, Natasha reaching for it without taking her eyes off Tony. After a puff she handed it to Clint who looked sheepishly at the fag and took it. 

“Tobacco?” Steve questioned taking a hit after Clint, Natasha pulling him to the couch to sit. 

“Weed.” Tony corrected taking it back not wanting Steve to take more than one hit at first. Steve looked a little shocked but said nothing moving to the carpet beneath one of the chairs where Tony decided to sit. Natasha snorted out a giggle after Clint whispered something in her ear and looked toward Steve and Tony and giggled even more, Clint joining in. 

“What’s so funny, lovebirds?” Tony asked passing the joint again. 

“Nothing.” Natasha lied taking it before Clint.

At that moment Thor strolled in all muscled and confused. “Tony Son of Stark.” he addressed Tony. “Your home smells very odd. Like the burning of a spell casters herbs.”

“Yup, we’re enjoying a little magic herb. But no spells!” As he spoke it was Steve’s turn again, he eagerly took it and without anyone noticing finishing what was left. 

Thor came to join them in their circle. After examining the scene he asked: “Are you performing a spirit quest?”

“Why the hell do we wear shoes!?” Natasha spoke loudly throwing off a boot one at a time. Clint broke off into a fit of laughter repeating her a few times.

“Steve what the hell man?” Tony looked down at the robed Steve nuzzling his leg with his face. “You finished the whole blunt? Man not cool.” 

“Do not fear Son of Stark I know that the Doctor Banner has this herb in plenty. He and I spoke before of his spirit quests.”

“Oh.” Tony blinked not taking Banner for a stoner, but it did explain a lot. 

“I shall fetch him and his magical herb.” Offered Thor. “For I wish to bond with you as Steve here has with your leg.” Thor smiled rubbing Steve head before standing and going to grab Bruce. Natasha and Clint giggling like mad over Thor’s comment. 

“What?!” Tony insisted, letting Steve cradle his leg. 

“Your boyfriend’s never been high before.” Natasha snorted out like a school girl.

“Boyfriend…?” Tony looked down at a completely space out Steve who smiled up at him so joyfully. 

“Boyfriend?” Steve repeated. Tony, the gravity of the word falling on him slowly. “Tony isn't my boyfriend!” His cheeks were red.

“The Hell he’s not.” Clint chortled. “You guys have been all sexual tension-y forever.” Tony made a face. But it seemed Natasha agreed. 

Banner and Thor returned with Agent Phil Coulson, who had been meeting with Bruce for the evening, for unknown reasons. Bruce carried a hookah and brown bag and Thor carried another beautifully crafted glass pipe. Sitting back down on the floor the God eagerly showed the pipe he held with great excitement. “Looks like someone sucked you off buddy.” Clint joked to the God as Bruce joined in on the couch and Phil sat of the floor completing the circle. 

Prepping the pipes and hookah took Bruce a moment. Steve sat silently still holding onto Tony. Thor tried to help pack the glass pipe which was taken away from his not so graceful grip by Clint who did it instead. When it was all set up and everyone had taken a new hit the room was nothing but smiles and giggles and absurd observations, mostly about shoes. 

When the pipe came around to Steve, Tony took the liberty of taking it away before the poor guy got any more loopy. “Enough for you cowboy.” Steve pouted to himself, and Tony just not caring anymore pulled a compliant Steve onto his lap. Natasha seeing this development declare that everyone must shotgun. 

Thor looked confused. And Natasha explained by doing a sexy little maneuver over Clint and blowing the smoke directly into his lip from hers. “Now you Clint. Take some and blow into Bruce’s mouth.” 

Clint protested: “That’s not fair you’re the only chick here.” 

“Well you see them?” She nodded over to Tony and Steve. “I’m sure they’re excited to kiss someone other than me.” 

Thor decided to chime “And I, would like to exchange the smoke with one of you I care not whom. Are all Midgardians so shamed when it come to displays of affection toward another of his or her gender?” That also explained a lot of things. Natasha smiled at Clint with puppy eyes and he sighed and took a lung full. He passed it to Bruce who had been pretty silent about the whole gay shot gunning. Then from Bruce to Tony. 

It was Tony’s turn to give to Steve, he hesitated. The guy was pretty out of it laying on his lap not making a sound. He looked up at Tony placing his hand behind his neck and kissing him without any smoke. Natasha squealed silently to herself as the two began to make out and Tony deftly passed the hose to Thor without breaking the kiss. Thor smiled and took a ridiculously deep hit and moved onto Coulson whom was knocked onto his back by Thor’s strength. Thor released him and the Agent coughed for what seemed five minutes and then finally passed the smoke to Natasha ending the circle. Thor had already began on the glass piece. 

Coulson looked sheepishly at Bruce after the circle closed and it was just then Natasha noted that they were hiding something. Thor offered the bowl to Banner starting to chatter about sexuality in Asgard. “You know my brother Loki had a child with a horse, it should be no shame that you and he perform oral sex. Many warriors do when gone from home so long away from their wives.” He was looking at Banner and Clint with his remarks. 

Clint looked at Thor: “What the hell, I don’t judge people on that shit I just don’t enjoy it.” Banner looked eerily green around his ears.   
“Clint… baby he is not talking to you.” Clint looked at her for a moment and then at Bruce and then the ever silent Coulson. “Oh.” Was all that came from his mouth.


End file.
